I was
recently asked for excerpt from my book Greif:
Helping Christians Coping with the STORM of Loss by the website www.Grieving.com, that provides resources to
individuals dealing with the loss of a loved one. I shared the following with them from my book:
"Grief
is a reality that each of us will cope with more than once in our lifetime. The
loss of a loved one, a friend, a pet, our home, our job, or maybe divorce.
However, understanding how grief affects us will help us cope with the
devastation to our emotional and even physical lives. Understanding the stages
of grief is essential to developing healthy coping skills for living a
successful life."
With
recent events surrounding the death of Kobe Bryant, and other high-profile
individuals such as Jim Lehrer who many of us grew up watching on the news,
local Cincinnati politician Todd Portune, and actor Stan Kirsch grief has once
again moved to the forefront of the America thinking. However, the reality is that with these
famous people having public funerals and major new coverage we will often over
look those around us who are suffering from the loss of a family member to
cancer or heart attack, loss of mobility due to a surgery, or the devastation
of the death of a pet. Understand I’m not saying we do this intentional, we are
simply overwhelmed by the coverage on television. and social media.
As I watch
the television, social media such as Facebook and others. There is a great deal of coverage of the
famous quotes, actions, and yes even family engagement of the famous people
that have died. However, there is very limited information being provided on
how to cope with the loss.
I would
challenge my friends, pastors, and yes even fellow chaplains to use these
events to help people understand the resources that are available and develop
the tools to face Grief when it arises in their life.
The great writer C. S. Lewis wrote
after the death of wife, “No one ever
told me that grief felt so like fear.” It is imperative that we help those
we come in contact that maybe struggling the loss of these famous individuals,
or more importantly those that are struggling with their own personal loss to
understand we care and are here to help.
There are several things we can do
to help individual to cope with loss when it comes, weather it a national hero,
or personal loss:
·
Acknowledge the loss.
·
Help individuals to understand the stages they
will go through and provide tools as they go through each of them.
·
Listen to them, and allow them to share feeling
and thoughts
·
Encourage them to focus on the future even when
they don’t see one.
If you would like more information on coping with grief,
please check out my book @ https://www.revdonallenjr.com/p/books.html