Pastors Coping with Stress
Over
the past 35 years of my involvement in pastoral ministry I have found stress to
be the one constant factor that I have had to deal with. I realize that some
church members feel that stress should not be a factor in a pastor’s life.
However, when you work with people and address their life issues, stress will
enter the conversation.
I
was recently asked: In your personal life, what have you seen as the key
factors leading to stress in pastoral ministry? I have attempted to answer that
question by compiling my list of top five stressors (not in any particular
order).
When
we address the stress we fill in our lives, we need to understand that there
are two contributing factors:
The FACT - these are things that are really happening
and causing anxiety and stress and,
The PERCEPTION - things that I believe are happening
that create stress for me.
Member’s
expectation:
The expectations that I accomplish or do certain things in the church, either
spoken or unspoken. A great example is the requirements to be at the
hospital to see a member or member’s family, when I was not informed the
individual was in the hospital.
Financial
issues:
When the finances of the church are in trouble or their does not seem to be
enough money to cover the bills. Especially when many churches have concluded
that cutting the pastor’s salary is more important than cutting programing at
the church.
Family and
Children:
For most pastors, the balance between family time and pastoral responsibilities
is one that creates a great deal of stress. There is an expectation that
pastors will be at meetings, do weddings, and provide for the needs of the
church members. However, at the same time there is an expectation that the
pastor will be at the children’s school functions, attend the sports game, etc.
Limited time
to prepare for Teaching & Preaching: From the other pastor’s I have discussed about
ministry, this comes up as a top issue for them.
Pastoral
expectation that the individuals will do things in the church: Every pastor has his own
personal expectation of what people will do in the church, from helping visit
the sick, singing in the choir, helping teach a Sunday school class, and so on.
When these expectations are not met, the pastor often feels stress.
Tools for coping with these and other stressors in
the church:
Establish a
support system of individuals to talk with when feeling the stress: I have developed a group of three men from
various walks of like, a pastor, social worker, and college instructor that I
attempt to touch base with at least twice a week and talk about how I am
feeling and any stress I am feeling. I allow them to ask the tough questions
and search if the stress is fact or perception, and then look at solutions to
resolve it.
Set priorities
and state each priority from the pulpit clearly. This means discussing and
defining the priorities within the family, and coming up with a plan to
accomplish them in a safe and appropriate way.
I have been blessed with a great wife, and have two kids in
college. I have learned the hard way, that before I accept any speaking
engagement or plan to attend a conference, I check with all three to see if
they have something on the calendar that they would be upset with if I missed.
This is also essential in the church, that folks know what your priority is,
and that you do certain things first for the church members.
Plan your
personal devotional time and prayer: To me the apostles set the ground work for this
very thing, when they appointed deacons so they could focus on the
word. Having been an Associate Pastor
for many years, this is the one major stressor I see pastors’ having that is
self-created. Find men in your church
that can do what you need them to do, and be willing to use them. I recently talked with a pastor that was
extremely stressed and asked him if he allowed the men in his church to help.
He made excuses and said they didn’t know how. My question to him was, “did you
ask?” and then my follow up question was “did you offer to teach them.” If we
want help as a pastor we have to help people learn to minister, and give them
to tools and opportunity to do so.
I have noticed for many pastors that having more
than one service on a Sunday Morning or the weekend is a very stressful time. My experience is that this can be eliminated
if we are willing to plan ahead and work the plan. Finding volunteers, training them, and
encouraging them to accomplish their task relieves a lot of the stress during
the service.
Pastor’s, it is important to understand stress can
be avoided and overcome if we are willing to work at it, and take
precautions. My prayer is that you will find peace within your relationship
with Christ to help you accomplish the goals HE has set before you and be stress
free.
